


I'll Protect You

by dontblink10



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Hurt Dean, Librarian Castiel, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Veteran Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4277220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontblink10/pseuds/dontblink10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sound of fireworks sends Dean into a flashback.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Protect You

**Author's Note:**

> I do not believe that soldiers are monsters. This was written as Dean sees himself.

4th July, 2015

 

_7:00 p.m_

The sky was still bright, no fireworks yet. 

_8:00 p.m._

The sun was just beginning to set. Maybe another hour. 

_8:45 p.m._

The fireworks were just starting for the night. Castiel glanced over at Dean, his deep blue eyes filled with concern and caution. Dean didn't seem bothered by the loud noises yet; they weren't close, or particularly loud. 

"Are you hungry?" Castiel asked, knowing they'd probably be up for a while, and Dean wouldn't be up to eating at that time. Another crash, louder this time, and Dean gave a small nod. Placing a small kiss on Dean's cheek, Castiel moved to the kitchen and began preparing a home made pizza. 

Halfway through cutting up vegetables, Dean walked in. Castiel tried not to make a big deal of his lover's shaking hands, opting to give him a reassuring smile and spreading the fresh vegetables over the thin crust and pizza sauce. 

"You doing okay?" he asked softly. Dean wrapped his arm around his husband in their small kitchen, resting his chin on the smaller man's shoulder. He took a deep breath and nodded. 

"Are you sure?" Castiel asked as he moved away to put the pizza in the oven. 

"I'm coping." Castiel remembered last year. It was their first Fourth of July together. Dean had been home from the war for a month. He still had nightmares then, and he still did. When the first fireworks began, Dean couldn't breathe. Sam was there, and he tried to comfort him. Three days later, his eye was still ringed in dark purple, black and blue. Dean had been up all night, jerking every time a firework exploded. Castiel had stayed up with him, making sure he didn't hurt himself or others, staying far enough that Dean's mind didn't see him as a threat. After, he researched ways to help post-war vets deal with this kind of thing. They now had a sign in their front yard that read "combat veteran lives here. Please be courteous with fireworks." 

Twenty minutes later, waiting for the pizza, the two were leaning against the counter. Dean's eyes were screwed shut, his heart beating in double time. Castiel slowly moved towards him, starting as another firework exploded.

"Dean? Baby? What do you need?" Castiel gently moved his hands to Dean's cheeks. Dean shook his head, trying in vain to control his breathing.

"Seven in, hold it, four out. C'mon, Dean. Breathe with me baby. Seven in, hold it, four out." Dean did as Cas said, leaning into his husband's touch. After a few minutes of Castiel coaching Dean, his breathing returned to a nearly normal pattern, his heart beating in a steady rhythm against his ribs.

When the pizza timer went off with a shrill cry, Dean jumped. More fireworks sounded, kicking his mind into overdrive. He closed his eyes tightly, fighting off memories of gunfire, of dark blood staining his hands, the innocent lives he had taken. The next thing he knew, there were salty tears running down his cheeks. He tried to get his staccato breaths under control.

"I'm right here, baby," Cas murmured gently, placing a now cooked pizza on the counter before moving to Dean. Castiel rubbed tears from his lover's cheeks, before pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'll protect you. No one will hurt you, okay?"

Castiel knew these words didn't cure everything, and he knew he couldn't protect Dean forever, but he wanted to. He wanted to keep Dean happy and out of harms reach for the rest of his life. Dean Winchester deserved the world.

"Let's go downstairs and eat, okay?" Dean nodded an agreement, carrying the pizza down the stairs behind Cas. While being underground didn't silence the loud noises from the celebrations, it did muffle them. Castiel Sat close enough to Dean that their thighs were touching and turned the tv on. When they finished their pizza, Castiel noticed the time.

_11:49 p.m._

It was late. He and Dean had to sleep now. Or at least try. Castiel took Dean's hand, leading him up the stairs to their bedroom. He helped Dean pull his shirt over his head, kissing his cheek before taking his own off. He gently undid Dean's button and zipper, allowing him to pull off his own bottoms. Together, they climbed into their bed, Castiel wrapping his arms around Dean. Sooner than Cas expected, Dean was asleep. Castiel fell asleep soon after. 

_2:39 a.m._

Gunfire. Bright red, oozing blood. Rough screams in terror and anger. Children, crying, trying to hide in the corner of the room, afraid of the soldiers and their guns. Afraid of the _monsters_ standing in front of them. Running, tripping, falling with the sun beating down, gunfire approaching. _Please, let me live. Don't shoot._

Dean's eyes flashed open, his heart pounding and breaths shallow and short. His wheezing was the only sound registering, until suddenly, he could hear the fireworks. Even this late in the night, celebrations were still well under way. He flinched at every one, trying desperately and fruitlessly to get his breathing under control. 

"Dean?" Cas mumbled beside him. The blue-eyed man rolled over, sitting up next to Dean. "Are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?" Dean nodded, and Castiel wrapping his arms around Dean's trembling body, pulling him closer. 

"Seven in, hold it, four out. Okay?" Cas repeatedly mumbled into Dean's ear. Dean focused on the sound of Castiel's voice, let it wash over him with comfort and love and reassurance. 

"Okay," he finally replied. Castiel kissed his cheek, and his forehead, and his nose, pulling him into his arms as Dean began to cry. 

"Hey, it's okay, Dean. Alright? I'm right here. You're home. You're safe. I'll protect you. I love you. C'mon, Dean. It's okay. Focus on my voice, alright beautiful? I love you. I'll keep you safe." Castiel whispered continued whispering sweet nothings into Dean's ear. Eventually, Dean's trembling subsided, and Castiel pulled him back down into the covers. 

"Go to sleep, dear. I'm right here." 

~ * ~ 

The next morning, Dean woke with Castiel's arms and legs wrapped around him, almost like an octopus. He shifted happily, pressing himself into Castiel's warmth. 

"I love you too," he whispered before falling back into a lovely, dreamless sleep.


End file.
